That Time Of The Month!
by juicebox-chan
Summary: Hogwarts is in confusion as some strange gossip begins to spread about Remus Lupin...


'Hey- hey Remus!'  
'Yeah.'  
'I'm going down to the Quidditch Pitch to put a stinging jinx on Snivellus Snape wanna come?'  
'Aw jeez, I would James but I'm not feeling so good.'  
'Really, what's up?'  
Remus Lupin leaned forward and whispered to his friend.  
'It's that time of the month for me, you know?'  
James' jaw dropped in a freakish look of genuine surprise.  
'Are you serious?'  
'Yeah well, it does happen with my condition!' Remus was more than a little startled by the look of shock on his friend's face. Hadn't he told the same James Potter months ago about his being a werewolf? It hadn't seemed to bother him until now.  
'Well, if you are a... Shouldn't you be somewhere other than the boys dormitories?'  
'Oh- yes.' Remus said quickly. 'I shouldn't be around the other students when it happens.'  
James turned scarlet and started giggling in embarrassment for reasons Remus couldn't even begin to guess at.  
'Yes- well- great Remus. Um, catch you later!' And on that note James dashed out of the boys' dormitory, into the Gryffindor common room and then out of the door, knocking The Fat Lady's picture frame as he left.  
That was kind of strange, thought Remus. Then he set off alone to a secluded place where he could begin his transformation.

James was completely baffled. Who would have guessed this? All this time being Remus' friend and he hadn't even known...  
He knew this was a secret. He knew that a good friend would keep it so, but James didn't have the discipline of the usual type of good friend so when he saw a group of Hufflepuff boys passing by...  
'Hey you lot, listen to this! Remus Lupin is really a girl and he says it's that time of the month!'

Remus walked back towards Hogwarts Castle relieved. It had been a false alarm. As he approached he noticed a whole crowd of students from all houses huddled together muttering under their breath and stealing glances at him when they thought he wasn't looking. He felt hot with confusion and embarrassment. Had he spilt Butterbeer down his cloak again? He managed to hear one of the whispers with his enhanced werewolf hearing.  
'You never would have believed it would you? I mean, he looks so masculine!'  
The whisper had come from a Ravenclaw girl. What was she talking about? He turned when he felt a tap on the shoulder.  
'Alright there Moony?'  
Ah, thank fortune! Maybe James could explain some of this spreading gossip which seemed to involve him. But his hopes subsided when he saw that James' face wore the same embarrassed expression of this morning and he decided it was best to avoid the subject all together.  
'It was a false alarm.' Remus reflected lightly. 'I shouldn't be starting the cycle until tomorrow.'  
'So it's true!'Shouted a Slytherin boy called Dolohov. 'Lupin really is a chic!'

'What?' Bellowed Remus.  
'And he really has got his... you know what.' Dolohov finished.  
'James! Can you explain some of this to me?' Remus demanded.  
'Uh, I'm sorry Remus I couldn't keep your secret. But I want you to know, that no matter what sex you are and even if you are going through, eer, that time of the month. You are still going to be one of my closest mates and-'  
'Wait.' Remus interrupted. 'Am I just imagining it, but are you James Potter suggesting that I am a girl?'  
'Yes, and you should accept who you are too Remus. I won't respect you any less as a girl.'  
'James has something you have eaten in the past few days addled with your brain? I'm a dude!'  
'You've got to stop saying that Remus and embrace your true gender!'  
' Male is my true gender! Honestly, ever since this morning when I told you that it was that time of the month when I begin my cycle to turn into a werewolf you've become totally obnoxious!'  
A long silence outward followed Remus' speech but inside James' head there was a very loud- click! Thankfully the crowd of students had moved on. First he's a girl now he's a werewolf? Trust James Potter to lead them on with a pile of absolute crap!  
'So all that time of the month stuff was only about you going through the werewolf cycle?'  
'Duh, what else could I have meant?' Smiled Remus, happy to have his friend back to his usual self.  
'Um... Hey I never did end up putting that stinging jinx on Snivellus, you in?'  
'Let's do it!'

**THE END**


End file.
